Saturday, October 4, 2014

94 - Beer and skittles

As the bill paying time grew near,
The lady stripped off her gear,
She then lay on the table
Until her mate said “Mabel,
The money is to pay for the beer.”

93 - Cover Blown.

A lady who lived home alone
Played games, at night, with her phone.
She danced in the raw,
Behind a closed door,
But, through wi-fi, her cover was blown.

Sunday, September 28, 2014

92 - Six O'Clock Shadow

For Mad Kane's Limerick Challenge.

A lady decided to trim
Her pubes, on bit of a whim.
She went from quite curly
To look ‘little girlie’—
The effect was decidedly grim.

91 - Horsing Around

There once was a lady who whipped
The men with whom she had stripped:
“When it comes to a layer
I prefer a good stayer,
And I geld those poorly equipped.”

Saturday, September 20, 2014

90 - High on a Hill

Once on a hill lived a lonely goatherd
Who had a fling with a lovely Swiss bird.
She gave him a thrill
While high on that hill
But his yodeling was all that the town heard.

89 - Collars & Cuffs

She was greying but wanting to hide it
So she went to a salon that dyed it
She added collars and cuffs
To avoid any rebuffs
From those who were wanting inside it.

Sunday, September 14, 2014

88 - The Illness.

The Illness

To cure it, said the Dr from Saigon,
Chew underwear until it is gone.
But with signs undiminished,
The thong was now finished
Yet the malady lingered on.

Sunday, September 7, 2014

87 - Of lice and men.

A woman had trouble keeping tabs
On the men, who came up for grabs;
So she decided, it’s said,
To only give head,
In the hope of not getting crabs.


'crabs' = pubic lice.

Saturday, August 30, 2014

86 - The Lift Lady

A man with a depressive disease,
Searched for a 'sadness reprise',
He was in need of a lift
And got a surprise gift
From a lift lady, busting to please.

Sunday, August 24, 2014

85 - A Burning Passion

In cooking, she was  clearly a beginner,
With no apron while making her dinner.
And ruefully she learned
More than supper can be burned
But the entrée was clearly a winner.

Sunday, August 17, 2014

84 - Tasty

For Mad Kane.

A girl who developed a taste
To be friendly, rather than chaste,
Was a romp in the bed
But it went to her head
And then it went to her waist.

83 - Pasta Lady

A lady who ate her spaghetti,
Naked, in a small kitchenetti,
Said “I don’t claim to be posh,
There’s less clothing to wash—
I’m not a blonde, I’m a brunetti.

Saturday, August 9, 2014

82 - Therapeutic Macramé

A lady who tended to mope
Tried macramé in order to cope.
She made her own swimsuit
Which some thought was too cute
And largely a waste of good rope.

Thursday, August 7, 2014

81 - Wrestling, of sorts.

 For 3WW

A liberated lady called Claire
Enrolled in a muddy affair.
The fighting was vicious,
The motives suspicious,
And the rules, at best, lasses-faire.

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

80 - Deuce!

At a tennis club known to be poor,
Double were played in the raw.
The crowd was excited,
The ball boys delighted,
But the umpires neglected to score.

Sunday, July 27, 2014

79 - Ratings Time

For Mad Kane's Limerick Challenge —

A woman was trying to rank
The men who’d lay by her flank—
But she couldn’t decide
If the time of the ride
Trumped the length and the width of their shank.

78 - A little lost.

A lady who caused quite a stir
When seen naked, excluding some fur,
Thought what she should do
Was keep her nipples from view
But wasn’t too sure where they were.

Sunday, June 8, 2014

Well, blow me!

A woman, convinced that she was right,
(But admittedly wasn’t too bright)
Ignored her man’s pleading
That the term was misleading,
And tried blowing, with all her might.

Thursday, March 27, 2014

77 Skin & Bones

A cunning young woman used groans
To keep guys attentive and prone.
While she got her own joys
The emaciated boys
Degenerated to nothing but bones.

Friday, February 21, 2014

76 - The Feral Cat

Totally fictional response to 3WW

The Feral Cat

There was a young lady called Di,
In search of an insatiable high.
“My pussy’s gone feral,
Go near at your peril,
It shreds those it considers don't try”

Sunday, February 9, 2014

75 - The Mislaid Maid

For Mad Kane's limericks.

A fellow was feeling afraid
After spending a night with the maid.
While he relished the ride,
She would later confide,
That both she and The Pill were mislaid.

Monday, January 27, 2014

74 - Australia Day

A woman, patriotically impressed,
Had painted the flag on her breasts.
The men thought it was cute
And rose to salute—
I’m sure you can imagine the rest.

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

73 - False Impressions

Mad Kane has a regular limerick challenge...

False Impressions

A woman received an advance
From a fellow who wanted a chance
To fondle her breasts,
The ultimate of tests,
To see if they’re really implants.

Sunday, January 5, 2014

72 - Going all out.

Mad Kane has a limerick challenge:

A fellow was going all out
To woo a pretty girl scout.
"I'll buy some of the cookies
In exchange for some nooky…"
But left her with one up the spout.

Saturday, January 4, 2014

71 - Cruel Humour

A lady with humour most cruel,
Made the men all dribble and drool,
When she offered to show
Her crutches for dough;
The warning was in the plural.